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Lost.

Today, I went to a new dentist and my hygienist and I struck up a conversation when I noticed her Ironman and Bike MS medals in the office. She's a pretty cool woman: a smoker for over 30 years who turned to triathlon and now competes all over the country. When she said she's doing Marine Corps Marathon later this month, my eyes lit up while my mouth was full of whatever torturous instrument was in it.

I later told her how much I loved that race and that I went on to do this ride with Hank a couple of months ago. She was sweet, said kind words about the cool things I'm doing and asked, "What's next?".
Initially, after my ride with Hank, I had no desire for a "what's next". I wanted time to think and process. I say that every time (as you endurance athletes understand), but every other time I've said it, I've had an idea of what the following year will bring.
This year, I don't. And I feel so LOST.
Leaving the cycling industry and the…
Recent posts

Kebler.

I've been wanting to give Kebler its own post because it deserves it. And so do I, for that matter.

Some of you may have heard me reference Kebler. Some of you KNOW what Kebler was like because you were there. Some of you have no idea what I'm talking about, so let me elaborate.
Kebler Pass is a mountain pass outside of Crested Butte here in Colorado. It summits at 10,007 feet and passes through the Gunnison National Forest and is a mixture of paved road and gravel. It's known for one of the largest Aspen forests in the United States. It's part of my Big Bike Adventure course and has been scheduled on the third (of four) day of my ride. It's big and bold and stunning.
It's also the place I've learned (twice now) how to dig deeper than I have considered impossible. 
I went into my ride with Noah in 2018 woefully underprepared. I hadn't looked at an elevation map, or any map for that matter, before taking this on. I knew it was gravel and I knew it was going …

Lessons.

I'm still in a post-ride haze: 141 miles with, 8,400' of climbing, and 130 pounds in tow through the mountains of Colorado with one of my favorite, most inspirational guys.



There's a lot to process from last week. It was wonderful and HARD and life-changing. My Big Bike Adventure with Hank. All of it is too long to ever share in a single post, or ever probably, but I'll try to give you some snippets as I recount our ride together.

For now, I'll share some lessons I've learned in no order of importance.

Lesson #1: There will always be lessons. The thing I love about events (and life) is that you're constantly learning. Something will always come up. The goal should be to figure it out, overcome it, write that shit down and remember it next time.

Lesson #2: Check your shit. Hank got a special bike to ride with me because he was my pusher in this. The HUGE upside was that he was able to train on it getting him comfortable in it for our adventure. The downside was …

MIA.

Hi. It's been a while. Sorry about that. Life's been a little weird, which has made me weird(er) and much MUCH quieter than normal. I wanted to post some updates on life and training for any of you who may still pop on here from time to time.

Life.
In June, I took a full-time position with the CU Anschutz Health and Wellness Center in admin. It was 8 months of back-and-forth and figuring out a place for me to get my foot "officially" in the door there. I love the environment and much of the work that the wonderful people I work with do. I've already learned so much and have begun to carve out a little niche for myself there. Something I seem to be good at--making shit work! I'm excited to be a part of it and I'm hopeful that I'll be able to continue to grow myself and my career where I actually feel valued. Plus! BENEFITS Y'ALL!

I work an hour from where I live. I'm also trying to have some semblance of a dating life, so I feel like I live out …

2018.

I'm always incredibly reflective this time of year. 

I love being able to look back on each year to enjoy the things that made them wonderful and take lessons from the things that made them difficult.
This year, quite frankly, felt like it had more difficult moments than wonderful. I know. I know. What a negative way to look at a year of growth, but it's true. 2018 was HARD. 
It has been a year of stark contrast. I've experienced my highest, most incredible highs...
Helen & Noah's Big Bike Adventure and Helen & Hank's Marine Corps Marathon.
In between those high, amazing times, though, I saw my darkest days. I lost everything that gave me purpose. To the point where this world almost lost me. I was ready to give it all up because almost everything and everyone I loved and wrapped myself in was gone. Almost everything. Funny what seeing a photo of someone you love at just the right time will do to literally save you. One day, I'll tell that story, but I'm…