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Showing posts from 2018

2018.

I'm always incredibly reflective this time of year. 

I love being able to look back on each year to enjoy the things that made them wonderful and take lessons from the things that made them difficult.
This year, quite frankly, felt like it had more difficult moments than wonderful. I know. I know. What a negative way to look at a year of growth, but it's true. 2018 was HARD. 
It has been a year of stark contrast. I've experienced my highest, most incredible highs...
Helen & Noah's Big Bike Adventure and Helen & Hank's Marine Corps Marathon.
In between those high, amazing times, though, I saw my darkest days. I lost everything that gave me purpose. To the point where this world almost lost me. I was ready to give it all up because almost everything and everyone I loved and wrapped myself in was gone. Almost everything. Funny what seeing a photo of someone you love at just the right time will do to literally save you. One day, I'll tell that story, but I'm…

News.

"2018 can go fuck itself."... I said after what felt at the time like devastating news:

I will no longer be working with The Kyle Pease Foundation on an organizational level.

The phone call caught me off guard and while they have their reasoning, it didn't make it hurt any less. The foundation is a not-for-profit business but it has (as many of you are fully aware of) been intensely personal for me. 

3 years ago, I fell in love with this foundation at at time when my world had fallen apart. I had just filed for divorce, the job I was in was no longer working out and I was looking to move on, I was trying to figure out how I'd function in this big world all alone. Then KPF appeared and I was smitten. The mission, the people, the community. So I've spent these last years wrapped up completely in it. Helping it grow, while it helped me grow. It's been about the relationships.

This year's theme has been about immense loss. The loss of companions, friends, careers…

26.2

On October 28th, I closed the book on 2018's athletic endeavors with a thing I swore as early as this Spring that I would never do: a marathon. 
That's 26.2 miles of RUNNING. On purpose.
There is no way I'd have agreed to it or trained for it if it weren't for Hank Poore, who is a dear friend, Kpeasey athlete and marathon veteran. We decided to take on Marine Corps Marathon in Washington D.C. and I am so glad we did.
Even though I'm in the best shape of my life thanks to that little bike ride I did in August, I wasn't sure how I'd do. I knew that so long as I kept up with my training post ride that I'd get it done. I just wasn't confident in how quickly or painless I'd be able to do so. My greatest fear going in to race day was letting Hank down. This was his 3rd Marine Corps Marathon and the previous girls he'd run with were much faster. I'm what I like to refer to as a "forced athlete" and speed does not come naturally to me. …

Event Recap: A Novel

This will be a long one. 

Mostly, for me. I want to savor every moment of what was the biggest physical (and emotional) challenge I've taken on. I want to relish this great accomplishment. If you're into small novels, sit back, grab a cup of coffee (or wine depending on the time of day) and come with me back through Helen & Noah's BIG Adventure.

First, I have to say that our team of people was INCREDIBLE. I couldn't have asked for a better, more perfect group of humans. They played every "role" perfectly. I'll name them and give a general description of what they were around to do. However, I cannot possibly describe them or what they gave me any further. Simply put: I wouldn't have gotten through this without each of them.

Naomi - Noah's Mom
Stacy - my coach
Peter - mechanic/sherpa/human compass
Josh & Nic - our film crew

Day 1: The Intro
We got Noah into the trailer and learned quickly that zip ties would be our friends during this process. We a…

DO.

We have 30 days. I can't believe it.

This journey has been so eye opening on every front. The training has been the easiest (cannot believe I'm saying that). The mental part the toughest (that's not surprising in the least). And the financial part harder than I thought.

We are halfway to our $10,000 goal and that scares me since we are so close. It's easy for people to like, love and share things on social media for us, which I so appreciate. We live in a time when "good deed" and cute animal videos are shared all over the place as palette cleansers for what's going on in this sometimes scary world we live in. The issue that I'm finding since I'm living it, is that there is no genuine connection. Watch this video for 2 mins. Get teary, LOVE it, share it, go drink coffee. Repeat. 

I'm guilty of this myself.

It's easy to glaze over it. And when I say "it" in this particular instance, I mean our story and our goal: to help provide exper…

P.J.

Sunday was a massive training day. A few weeks ago, Cindy Snyder reached out to me via Facebook offering me the chance to train with her son, P.J. P.J. is 32 and has Angelman Syndrome and an incredibly accomplished athlete. We were connected through Dennis with Athletes in Tandem here in Colorado. Dennis is the guy who sparked this entire adventure idea.

We made plans to have a training ride with P.J. and to invite the local community to come ride with in hopes of promoting inclusion, showing how it's done and gaining donations to Helen & Noah's Big Adventure. It would be the most I'd hauled at 104 pounds. The trailer is 32lbs, P.J. weighs 72lbs.

I was scared sh*tless. My training leading up to this had been with a max of 45lbs. There were a few rides where I was climbing when I was like, "How in the HELL am I going to do this with even more weight. I'm going to embarrass myself in front of a group of people who are there to support us."

So, I took a logical…

Community.

Holy CRAP, I love the cycling industry. This week I got a reminder as to why.

On Sunday, I had a big training ride pulling P.J. My bike shop hosted, we invited the community and had a group of about 10 of us. It was awesome!

The day didn't go without incident, though. Our group was heading back toward the shop, riding on a 2 lane road and riding single file. I was 2nd in the line of cyclists which included a dad and his 7-year-old daughter on a tandem and P.J. in my trailer.

I look to my left and see a student driver vehicle dangerously close to me. There was an oncoming car in the opposite direction. I look into the passenger seat and see an older gentleman and a terrified-looking driver white knuckling the steering wheel at 10 & 2. I raised my hand to (admittedly) flip him off, but I've been making a habit not to do that. I know better than to get into confrontations with 4,000 pound death weapons. I also like to give thumbs down if needed because it actually feels SO MUCH …

Update.

51 Days...

Training has really amped up and has been good overall. I've been feeling stronger and more capable every time I get on the bike.

I've been struggling with some dizziness and feeling light headed on a daily basis. I've had some training rides that have really kicked my ass and not in the good, physical way. In the, holy shit, I feel terrible and out of it and drained, way. Part of it has been my nutrition or lack there of. 

Here's what I've figured out so far...

Problem #1: I have to force myself to eat in the morning before a ride. I do my best, but it's typically not been enough.
Solution #1: Pre-making Biju's Oatmeal from the Feedzone Portables Cookbook and making myself eat it pre-ride.

Problem #2: I apparently don't eat when I'm actively riding and hunger hits within an hour. Every single time. No matter what I eat beforehand. If I DO eat on the bike, there isn't a ton I can stomach. Favorites so far: pickles and fruit snacks. Not exac…

Quitter.

I'm gonna be honest with you. This week I've come close to quitting.

To giving up on this entire adventure. To saying, "Thanks for all the support, y'all, but this isn't happening.". To succumbing to all of those negative thoughts and fears and massive anxiety that I'm facing.
My body and my mind are tired. I'm not even halfway to my financial goal. I've got a million things yet to figure out. And...I'm scared shitless that I will fail Noah and Naomi and every single person who has supported us thus far.
This is part of the journey, I'm told. Facing the days when I question my sanity, my physical ability and whether or not I can scrounge up the financial support I've promised the Kyle Pease Foundation. My buddy tells me to enjoy the days I want to quit. That they end up being the best days because once I get through them, I'll be better for it. He would know. He does some pretty big stuff...
So, I didn't quit. And I won't. And I&…

Update.

Lots of things have started to happen as we are staring down our Big Adventure, so I figured I share and update here for those of you following along.

Training
I've officially moved over to 6 days of riding a week. I do a mix of trainer rides to target specific goals and rides outside. Up mountains. My coach takes exactly ZERO shit, which I need and am grateful for.

Trailer
We took our maiden voyage (sans Noah) up Lookout Mountain last Friday. For reference, Lookout is a 4.3 mile climb at an average grade of 6% with 1,700 feet of climbing. Remember that one time when I said I didn't climb? I do now.


The following day I tried to add a measly 10 pounds to the trailer at an attempt to do a different route. I'm not sure if it was my body that felt beat down, my bike not having enough gears or just being exhausted or some combo of all of those, but it DID NOT GO WELL. I gave up, turned around and was pissed at myself. I got up the next day, put that trailer (appropriately nicknamed …