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Showing posts from January, 2018

Brucey

This one is tough.

This blog is such a wonderful outlet for me and so I want to talk about yesterday.

Yesterday, my Bruceyleft this world.

The last few days have been really tough...he took a turn pretty quickly at the end of last week and I was told Wednesday that there wasn't much time left for him. Because nothing ever happens with ideal "timing" this weekend was also one where I had committed to help a new organization do some logistical planning for the Miami Half...I had to leave him in the care of my wonderful vets, but I had to leave him.

My biggest fear was that he wouldn't make it until I got home and that he would die as he lived much of his life...alone.

Luckily, people are awesome and understood that I needed to come home early to take care of my boy. I landed in Denver at 9:30am and went straight to the vet. They brought him in to me and I told him how sorry I was and how much I loved him and how good he was. He was tired and sick and it was time. 

The vet wa…

The 10K That Wasn't

On Saturday, I had a 10K race planned in a 3 part race series that has adorable names like the Santa Stampede and Frosty's 5 & 10.

I signed up for these events in November and Saturday was event number two. A 10K. This would be my longest distance race since March of last year and I was nervous. Turns out, the number 10 and I have some...issues....when it comes to running races.
A little backstory:
About 3 years ago, when I was early in my love affair with The Kyle Pease Foundation, a group of us traveled to Augusta, GA to participate in a race for some of the OG foundation members in their hometown. It was cold. REALLY. COLD. As we were driving to the race, I said very sarcastically, "Who's ready for a 5k?!" (because I was most definitely not) to which someone replied, "Helen. This is a 10K race."

I did that damn 10K. It was cold, but worth it. It was actually one of the first times I got to have some solo time with Naomi and Noah, getting to know them and…

Frustration.

For some reason, 2018 has gotten off to a frustrating start. 

It probably has something to do with the fact that I took on a month of no drinking, a month of yoga every day and upped my training in addition to taking on more work with some of my favorite foundations. All starting Jan. 1.

Anyone who truly knows me that I'm a pessimist at heart. It's who I am. I bitch and moan and have a hard time seeing the good...mostly in myself. It's taken a lot of hard work, but in the last couple of years I've gotten so much better at this. Practicing thankfulness and self love.

However, in the last 15 days, I've had a really hard time getting into and staying in a positive place. 

I have some big goals for 2018 and sometimes, lately, I've begun to question if maybe I took too much on. If all these grand ideas are doable. 

And then. Then I remind myself that I am nothing if I'm not trying to constantly improve. Maybe I have, indeed, taken on a little too much but what's …

Home.

A year ago today, I arrived in a snow storm at 9,000 feet after dark to my temporary living space in on Shadow Mountain in Colorado. I was tired and sick and hangry and incredibly emotional. We made it.

Now what?

This past year has gone by like a blur, but there are so many incredible moments that I was able to truly savor that it also feels like this place has always been my home.

Home.

Everything that I expected to experience I did:
Loneliness - 9,000 feet up a mountain with just a dog is LONELY
Sadness - missing my network of people, my go to's
Excitement - new places to see and experience
Fear - stepping outside of my comfort zone daily to get used to this new life
Awe - this place, well, it's stunning
Confidence - finding my place here and doing it solo has been everything I needed

I am thankful for every tear and every smile and every "AH HA!" moment. For the times I sat on my floor with my arms around Brucey's neck in tears. For every time I sat stunned by this big, …