Frustration.

For some reason, 2018 has gotten off to a frustrating start. 

It probably has something to do with the fact that I took on a month of no drinking, a month of yoga every day and upped my training in addition to taking on more work with some of my favorite foundations. All starting Jan. 1.

Anyone who truly knows me that I'm a pessimist at heart. It's who I am. I bitch and moan and have a hard time seeing the good...mostly in myself. It's taken a lot of hard work, but in the last couple of years I've gotten so much better at this. Practicing thankfulness and self love.

However, in the last 15 days, I've had a really hard time getting into and staying in a positive place. 

I have some big goals for 2018 and sometimes, lately, I've begun to question if maybe I took too much on. If all these grand ideas are doable. 

And then. Then I remind myself that I am nothing if I'm not trying to constantly improve. Maybe I have, indeed, taken on a little too much but what's the point of living if I stay in what is comfortable.

This is hard. Really hard. Not just one thing, but all of it. 

Scheduling.
Balance.
Physically.
Emotionally.

I'm uncomfortable and even though I knew I would be and that "uncomfortable" has become a familiar place, it doesn't make these big changes any easier as much as I thought they would. And maybe that's why I'm having a hard time.

I hope at the beginning of February, I can check in with some amazing perspective having gotten through this annoyingly heavy fog.

For now, though, I'm going to continue to push through because that's one thing I do know how to do!